OKAY NOW STOP WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING IT’S A LITTLE LUDDY WITH A PRUSSIAN HELMET BEING PROTECTED BY PRUSSIA
okay that was everything thanks for your attentionyes yes yes yes
at what point in a mutual followship am i allowed to address you by name and reply to all your posts and consider you one of my friends and stuff
Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.
Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
Cows: The shit you go through.
This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
Benedict Cumberbatch: did the motion capture for BOTH of those cows.
i think we could all use some calming cat right about now.
He’s back! Welcome back, calming cat. You are always welcome here.
hey repeat after me
- jealousy is terrible
- jealousy is terrible
- jealousy is not cute
- jealousy is terrible and can tear a person apart so please don’t make people jealous on purpose just to be an asshole
track name: u stow that potty talk this instant [romano screaming]
acceptable ways to trigger tag your posts
- #trigger
- #trigger ///
- #trigger —-
- #trigger 13434256245 (or any string of numbers)
- #trigger cw
- #trigger tw
- #trigger for ts
NOT acceptable ways to trigger tag your posts
- #tw trigger
- #cw trigger
- #~*~trigger~*~
- not tagging it at all
- #tw
blacklist scripts like blacklist on xkit and tumblr savior look for the word only in the first word when its a tag !!! please tag your triggers the right way and help your friends !!!!!!
Next time you get a “tumblr/facebook questionnaire” asking you to work out your porn star name or something, remember this…
Your mother’s maiden name, the name of your first pet, your birthday and the first street you grew up on are usually the same fields used for password security reset questions
Stay Frosty
Fuck y’all. Good looking out
oh my god
life rules
- you are never as awkward as you think you are
- you are never as annoying as you think you are
- you are never as boring as you think you are
- your compliments are never as creepy as you think they are
- you are way more wanted than you give yourself credit for
- chin up, dude
I am SICK and TIRED of people objecting to seeing women using their breasts for what they are actually for. BREASTFEEDING IS NOT VULGAR OR OBSCENE.